Gummy Bear Theatre Presents
by Obsessivebookworm14
Summary: This highly cultured and refined collections of works that speak deeply to the soul and - RYAN! Don't you dare touch those gummy bears! Where was I? Oh, never mind; just read.


Gummy Bear Theatre Presents...

Spoilers for all of the games.

A/N: Apologies for the awkward format, I'm trying to get around the no-script rules.

While these can never live up to the actual Gummy Bear Theatre, I had such a blast watching them that I just had to write this. Enjoy, and feel free to act out with actual gummy bears.

Disclaimer: I own nothing referenced in this fic.

* * *

Gummy Bear Theatre Presents: Nancy vs the Locked Door

Starring Blue Gummy Bear

*We see Blue Gummy Bear stage, staring at a door.

"It's locked."

Blue Gummy Bear slams itself against the door. "It's locked."

Blue Gummy Bear slams itself against the door again. "It's locked."

"It's locked."

"It's locked."

Blue Gummy Bear turns and looks at the audience. "Hey, if I click on it enough times, it's eventually going to unlock. Right? RIGHT?"

"It's locked." Beat. "It's locked. Beat. "It's locked."...

...we may be here for awhile...

(Curtain Closes)

* * *

Gummy Bear Theatre Presents: Don Quixote

Starring Yellow Bear & Red Bear

Yellow Bear Says "Look over there! Those are GIANTS!"

Red Bear says "Uh, I'm pretty sure those are windmills, actually."

"Don't contradict me! I am a knight! I know all about this stuff! And I know it's true because I read it on the Internet! Chaaaarge!"

"...What on Earth's an Internet?"

* * *

Gummy Bear Theatre Presents: Tex

starring Blue Gummy Bear

We see Blue Gummy bear on stage. He is MENACING. If he had eyes, he'd be glaring.

Wait, he's saying something:

"Yep.

Nope.

Yep.

Nope.

Yep.

Nope.

Yep.

Nope.

Yep.

Nope."...

We back away slowly.

(Curtain closes.)

* * *

Gummy Bear Theatre Presents: Sonny Joon

Staring Green Gummy Bear

We stare at the stage, waiting for the appearance of the legendary Sonny Joon. The curtains open. And we see... nothing. Suddenly an echoing voice calls out.

"It is I, Sonny Joon. You shall never see me, puny mortals. I am legendary, always one step ahead of Nancy Drew. She follows in my footsteps, never to be as great as I. I am lord of the aliens and someday I will rule the world! Mwahahaha!"

As the voice talks we notice Green Gummy Bear standing behind the curtain. The voice somehow knows we know.

"PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE GUMMY BEAR BEHIND THE CURTAIN!"

The curtain closes.

* * *

Gummy Bear Theatre Presents: Valdez

Starring Bear 1/Valdez and Bear 2/Nancy

"Whoooooooo has called me forth from the great beyonddddd? You interrupted my videoooo gammme and nowww you must diiiie!

Bear 2 says "Uh, this is a video game, Mr. Ghost Dude."

"Iiiinnn that caaaaase, thisss is awwwesooomeee. Caaaarry ooonn."

CUT! That wasn't in the script! RETAKE!

(Curtain closes)

* * *

Gummy Bear Theatre Presents: The Epic Ego-Fight of Rick Arlen and Brady Armstrong

Starring Blue Gummy Bear & Yellow Gummy Bear

Blue Gummy Bear walks onstage.

"I am Rick Arlen! Totally hot star of 'Light of Our Love."

Yellow Gummy Bear walks out on stage.

"I'm Brady Armstrong! I'm wholesomely smoldering."

"Why are you here! I'm the star of this show!"

"We'll see about that! I am captain of my own destiny, not a cabin boy like you!"

"What?! Why you little upstart... You dare to defy the great Rick Arlen?! I'll have you know that I could have been the star of my own movie!"

"Well I _am_ the star of my own movie! And above that, someday I'll make baldness irresistible! HAHAHAHA!"

"I challenge you to duel to the death! For my ego is greater! I summon the power of chocolate and bad jokes!"

Unfortunately, at this moment the staging collapsed beneath the weight of the dueling egos.

YOU HAVE MADE A FATAL ERROR.

SECOND CHANCE?

(Curtain closes)

* * *

Gummy Bear Theatre Presents: Romeo and Juliet

Starring Bear 1 & Bear 2

"Draw thy sword. Here comes of the house of Montagues."

Bear 2 replies "My weapon is draw. Quarrel, I will back thee."

"No let them begin it. I will frown at them as they pass by. They can take it as they like."

Bear 2 says "I will bite my thumb at them, which is a disgrace to them if they bear it! Oh, wait - umm..."

"What is it?"

"I just remembered that Gummy Bears don't have thumbs."

Curtain closes.

* * *

Gummy Bear Theatre Presents: Minnette

Starring Red Gummy Bear

Red Gummy Bear walks out on stage.

"Rude."

"I HATE YOU ALL."

She cries.

"Hahahaha."

"Rude."

"I need my special herbal tea! My tea therapist has very specific instructions! I should probably visiting an emotional therapist instead, but GET ME MY TEA OR YOU'RE FIRED, NANCY DREW!"

"Rude!"

"Rude!"

"Rude!"

Minnete's 'rude' quota for the day has been filled. Red Gummy Bear is about to be yanked off the stage when:

"WAIT! I'M A NINJA! HYAH!"

Curtain closes.

Gummy Bear Theatre Presents: Nick Falcone.

Starring Green Gummy Bear

Green Gummy Bear walks out. "Fight the shower! Uh, power. Whatever." Green Gummy Bear walks off.

...

...

...huh?

Curtain closes.

* * *

Gummy Bear Theatre Presents: Silly Song with Gummy Bears

Starring Neon Gummy Bear & Blue Gummy Bear

_Now it's time for Silly Songs with Gummy Bears, the part of the show where gummy bears come out and sing a silly song. So, without further ado, Silly Songs with Gummy Bears._

Everybody's got a Neon Gummy bear

Yours is bald but mine has hair

Oh wear'd we get them I don't care

But everyone's got a Neon Gummy Beaaaaaaar

Took my Gummy Bear to the store,

Got his paw stuck in the door

Spilled some Kringle bars on the floor,

Oh everyone's got a-

Blue Gummy Bear comes charging onto the stage.

"Stop! Stop right this instant! What do you think you're doing! You can't say everyone's got a Neon Gummy Bear; everyone does _not_ have a Neon Gummy Bear. (what would they even look like?) We're going to get nasty reviews, saying 'Where's my Neon Gummy Bear? Why don't _I_ have a Neon Gummy Bear?' and are you prepared to deal with that? I don't think so. Just stop. Being. So. SILLY!

* * *

Gummy Bear Theatre Presents: The Chemical Puzzle

Staring Bear 3/Nancy & disembodied voice

Bear 3 says "Just one more just one more just one more just-"

BOOM

YOU HAVE MADE A FATAL-

Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! 1,243,856 times in a row! Ahhhh!

Mwahahahaha. You shall never escape Nancy Drew! You will have to do this over, and over, and over and when you finally succeed, I will make you:

Pick vegetables...for Shorty! Mwahahahaha!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Curtain closes.

* * *

Gummy Bear Theatre Presents: Much Ado About Nothing (Cliff Notes Edition)

Starring Bears 1,2,3,4 and random bears.

Narrator says "Bear 1 & Bear 2 are in love. Aww. Bear 3 & Bear 4 hate each other. Wah. Bears 1 & 2 get 3 & 4 together, because they were secretly in love Yay! Random bears accuse Bear 2 of cheating on Bear 1. Oh no! Bear 1 believes them over bear 2 at leaves her at the alter. :( Other random bears find out bear 2 is innocent. 1 & 2 get back together :) Everyone's happy.

And then aliens showed up. Because why not?

Hurricane Sonny shows up. "Aliens are cool, duuuuudess!"

The end.

This has been Much Ado About Nothing (Cliff Notes Edition)

Curtain closes.

* * *

Gummy Bear Theatre Presents:

Nanc- hey wait a minute. Where did all the gummy bears go?

*sounds of chewing*

Ryan! Did you eat all of the gummy bears! We can't do Gummy Bear Theatre without the gummy bears!

Ryan flees Nancy's wrath via snowmobile. This initiates yet another chase scene where you crash 1,242 times.

(The End)

* * *

A/N: Hope you got a few laughs out of this.

Like? Dislike? Please review.


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